


sorry there’s no way out but down

by mechup



Category: Gallifrey (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Other, Unhappy Ending, can be read as romantic or qp or platonic or whatever you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:20:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24669058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mechup/pseuds/mechup
Summary: Leela finds out Narvin doesn't have any regenerations left.
Relationships: Leela (Doctor Who)/Narvin (Doctor Who)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	sorry there’s no way out but down

**Author's Note:**

> if you have any complaints contact my wife

_sorry can’t save me now_

_sorry i don’t know how_

_sorry there’s no way out_

_but down_

_—listen before i go by Billie Eilish_

* * *

He’s not entirely sure what’s happened until it’s already too late. He staggers a few steps, reaches out to rest his palm against the wall to steady himself, and promptly blacks out.

When he opens his eyes again, he finds himself sprawled across the floor, unable to feel anything but pain. He doesn’t think he has it in him to even attempt to move so he remains where he is, doing his best not to get overwhelmed by the sensation of a pending regeneration.

But he _isn’t_ going to regenerate, he can’t anymore, his mind is slow to remind him. His body doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo, the trillions of cells inside him getting ready for a change that’s not going to come. He’s going to die, this time for good.

“Narvin,” he hears but barely registers a voice call from the doorway. There are footsteps as the person enters the room and then, “...Narvin?”

He tilts his head to see who it is, and immediately has to close his eyes. Just his luck, one of the few people who would make this difficult. “Leela.”

“What,” she begins, then stops to take another look at him and make sure she’s really seeing what she thinks she is. “What happened to you?”

“Go,” he says, because her being here is the absolute last thing he wants. She doesn’t seem to make any effort to move. “You need to get out of here. I’ll... catch up with you.”

It’s a lie but if it’s the only way to convince her, then he’ll say it. She shakes her head though, stubborn as ever. “I am not leaving you. Tell me what happened.”

He slowly turns onto his back, trying not to wince as he does. He meets Leela’s worried eyes, and has to look away. 

“It was the Daleks,” he mutters, angry with himself for being reckless and getting caught in the crossfire. “I got shot, but I’ll be okay. Go to Romana, I’ll find you soon.”

“No, you must come with me,” she insists, frowning as she glances at where his hands are currently holding his side. “We are a _team_. We stay together, no matter what.”

“Leela, I _can’t_ ,” he snaps, then takes a deep breath and ignores the pain that curls through him. When he speaks again, his voice is softer. “Please listen to me, just this once.”

She knows him too well at this point, and can immediately tell he’s hiding something from her. She quickly realizes he must be more injured than she originally thought. 

“You are going to... change faces?” she asks, because that’s the only reason she can think of why he’s so adamant that she leaves him. She had always hoped he wouldn’t ever end up in any situation where he has to regenerate, but she’d rather stay here in case something goes wrong than make him deal with it on his own. He’s silent at first, then shakes his head.

“No,” he answers, so quietly that she almost doesn’t hear him. 

“No?” she repeats, confused. She might not comprehend everything related to Time Lord biology, but she had thought she knew enough. 

If he couldn’t look at her earlier, he certainly can’t now. He’s messed up so much throughout his lives, but none of them compare to how badly he’s messed up this time. “My face isn’t going to change. Nothing’s going to happen.”

“I do not understand,” she says, and he laughs bitterly. Out of all people, it had to be her here?

“I’m going to die,” he finally explains. The statement hangs in the air, suddenly making it unbearably real. “There’s nothing you or I can do about it. I hadn’t meant to tell you like this but—”

“You had not meant to tell me at all,” she interrupts, and he can’t even argue because he knows she’s right. He would’ve simply continued to run headfirst into dangerous situations, even despite knowing he’s perishable now. It’s his own fault, if only he had been more careful. 

“I’m sorry.” He blinks back tears, feeling like he’s let her down. He’s sorry for all the arguments, the times he upset her, the times he treated her unfairly, everything. He spares a glance at her, sees she’s begun crying too. It breaks both his hearts, and he musters up enough strength to raise a shaking arm, bringing it to Leela’s face to wipe away her tears. “Please don’t cry.”

She pulls him to her, holding onto him for dear life. It’s too tight but he doesn’t say anything, grateful to feel _her_ and not the agony coursing through his veins. She brushes his hair out of his face, surprisingly gentle for a savage. 

She’s speaking but he can hardly concentrate enough to hear what she’s saying, the functional part of his brain starting to shut itself down. He wills himself to listen and catches her telling him, “You are a _fool_. Why would you not tell me?”

He reaches out to take her hand in his, needing something to distract him from everything internally slowing down. 

“Don’t go?” he requests, even though he had just been trying to convince her to do the opposite. 

“I am not going anywhere,” she promises, her free hand stroking along his arm in an effort to offer him some comfort. He buries himself in the sensation of her completely surrounding him; she’s all that’s left in the universe, he doesn’t think he could handle it if she didn’t stay. 

“Thank you.” His words are slurred, but he still struggles to try and get them out. “For all of it. I wouldn’t be me if it wasn’t for you.”

“Shh,” Leela hushes him, not wanting him to further hurt himself. “I have got you, Narvin.”

He allows himself a smile, because even at the very end, she’s still his protector. He fades away, and she doesn’t let go of him until Romana comes.

**Author's Note:**

> @ lee i want my three cookies


End file.
